


so this is love

by bellarkebitch



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheating, F/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24001906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarkebitch/pseuds/bellarkebitch
Summary: "Who is he to have her, when she's been his all along?"Or, another cheating fic. You're welcome and I'll see you all in hell.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 66





	so this is love

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I should be writing my screenplay, but here we are. There might be some mistakes because this is unbeta'd and I JUST got used to writing in present tense. Bellamy isn't that nice of a guy in this fic, so if you recognize yourself in Echo in this fic, honey he's not worth it.
> 
> UPDATE: This will have a part 2.

Bellamy swore a vow, long ago, that he would do anything to protect his family. He's stole, beaten, and cheated to make sure that his sister and mother would never have to themselves. Bellamy used to think that he was a good person. That what he did was just and moral, for the greater good. That was before he met Clarke.

When Bellamy met Clarke, he came to threaten her. He was an angry seventeen-year-old who had gained what little he had in life by taking it. When Octavia came home from school talking about her new best friend, warning signs went up. Octavia was sweet and strong, but more fragile than she would ever admit. She had never had a friend before.

The more that Bellamy learned of Clarke, the more frightened he became. Octavia talked about how Clarke had the cutest backpack, how Clarke's mother was a doctor, how Clarke promised her that they would go to the movies, and do not worry about paying. Bellamy knew little of rich people, but he knew that they couldn't be trusted.

That's how Bellamy came to be at the middle school. His school had let out the hour before, and he had planned to talk to Clarke.

What he found was a small, scared girl whose mother had forgotten her. He watched for an hour as Clarke waited patiently for her mother, becoming increasingly more dejected as time went on. He watched as she got a call. He watched as she got up and began to walk home alone.

As he looked at Clarke's thin, gangly limbs trudging along glumly, he realized with startling clarity that Clarke couldn't even protect herself, let alone harm anyone else. Bellamy had a feeling that he would regret his decision, but still, he fell into step with her.

"You're Clarke?" Bellamy asked, even though he already knew the answer. He watched as Clarke jumped at the sound of his voice but changed to an expression of careful aloofness just as quickly. It reminded him of Octavia.

"Who wants to know?" Bellamy couldn't help his smile.

"I'm Bellamy, Octavia's brother." Clarke glared at him.

"Why were you following me, Bellamy-Octavia' s-Brother?" Bellamy looked at her critically.

"You want the truth?" Clarke nodded reluctantly.

"Honestly, I came to threaten you to stay away from my sister, but don't take this the wrong way… You're kind of pathetic." To Bellamy's surprised, that startled a laugh out of Clarke.

"Really? Are you always this rude?" She smiled.

"Only to pipsqueaks," Clarke made a face like she was offended. "Now, why are you walking home alone?"

Clarke hesitated for a moment before answering, "My mom just found out she's working late."

"How late?"

"What? Why?" Clarke looked about a second from cutting and running.

"Our mom's working late too. You could come to hang out with Octavia and me."

To Bellamy's absolute panic, Clarke's eyes filled with tears.

"Jesus. Please don't cry." Clarke looked away and hit him with surprising strength.

"I'm not crying!" She screeched despite the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Are you coming or what? This offer doesn't last forever." Clarke nodded and let Bellamy lead her to his house instead.

From then on, Clarke became a fixture at the Blake house. Hours that Clarke used to spend alone while her mother worked, she instead spent with the Blake siblings. Somehow, Clarke became a part of his family too, and so she was added to the list of people Bellamy would protect.

Somewhere along the way, Octavia changed. She became harder and harsher. She lashed out at Bellamy at every opportunity. At every attempt to reach out to her, he was pushed away. Clarke, amazingly, stuck up for him. Clarke had never swayed from the awe that she first felt when Bellamy offered to take him home from school. Where Octavia pushed him away, Clarke pulled him closer.

After his mother died and Octavia grew to hate him, Clarke soon became the only person on his list. It seemed to Bellamy that somehow, he had gone to sleep and woken up to Clarke being his everything. It felt as natural and inevitable as breathing.

During Clarke's first year of college, she met Lexa Woods. Lexa was cold and distant to Bellamy with seemingly little reason. Clarke became absorbed in her. It seemed that every sentence that Clarke spoke had Lexa's name in it. Bellamy noticed troubling flashes of that Lexa, though that Clarke seemed utterly blind to. She appeared to blame Clarke for things that were Lexa's fault. She isolated her, not just from Bellamy, but also her mother and other friends.

It wasn't until Clarke showed up on his doorstep in the middle of the night, soaking wet that he knew that something was very wrong. Once he was able to calm down Clarke, she said that she had caught Lexa cheating on her with a girl from her class named Costia. The ensuing fight revealed that it had been going on for a while.

Bellamy doted on Clarke just as he always did and helped her through her breakup. In her pain, she reached out for comfort from him like she always did. Things seemed to slot into place just like they always did. With Bellamy and Clarke, standing together against the world.

After Clarke had left college with a degree in graphic design, Bellamy had met Echo. He didn't feel the deep, all-consuming love that he felt for Clarke, but Echo was loyal and attractive and into him. He loved her. He did. But, sometimes, he found himself picking at little habits that Echo had and Echo nodding and agreeing to change for him. Every time it happened, Bellamy felt this sense of wrongness, but couldn't seem to help himself.

He proposed to Echo weeks after Clarke started dating Finn Collins. They were eating breakfast, and Bellamy was in a bad mood.

"Do you want to get married?" Bellamy asked. Echo froze where she was making pancakes. When she turned, she had a broad smile on her face.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. Why not?" Echo squealed in that nasal tone she sometimes had.

"Of course, I want to marry you!" She jumped up, abandoned her pancakes, and leaped into his lap. They had sex that night, but Bellamy couldn't outrun his sinking feeling of regret.

When he told Clarke the next day, she said congratulations with a strained smile and left soon afterward.

He didn't see her for weeks.

A month later, Clarke and Finn were engaged. Bellamy simply asked her if she loved him.

"Of course, I do," she said as she looked away.

"Then, I'm happy for you," he responded. After all, Clarke deserved everything that she wanted, and since that was Finn, he would learn to accept it.

Their weddings ended up being just weeks apart. Bellamy felt Clarke's eyes on him all through the ceremony, and a strange twist in his gut began to form the longer the reception went on.

Most unexpected was Octavia showing up, Bellamy hadn't heard from Octavia in years, and he wasn't even sure how she found out about the wedding. One moment, Bellamy was sitting by himself, and then the next, his sister had plopped down beside him.

"You're a bastard son of a bitch, you know that?" She spat out. Bellamy searched the crowd for Echo and found her animatedly talking with some friends.

"Did you really come to my wedding just to insult me?"

"No, I came to see if you'd really go through with it."

"Why wouldn't I go through with it," Bellamy asked. He shouldn't have, though, because the unimpressed look that Octavia gave him would have killed a lesser man.

"Call me when I can say 'I told you so.' It'll be really fun for me."

When Octavia walked away, Bellamy searched the crowd once again, but not for his new wife.

Clarke was sitting alone at a table in a pretty blue dress. He gazed at her for a moment before making his way over there.

"Why are you here alone? Where's Finn?"

"He couldn't make it. He had a work thing," Clarke sighed. Bellamy bit his tongue.

"Well, I may not be Finn, but can I have this dance?"

Clarke looked up at him, calculating. She looked over at Echo, who was still absorbed in entertaining their guests.

"Why not?" Clarke smiled.

Her flowing dress moved with her as she stood up. Bellamy was struck once again by how fast time has moved for them.

A slower song started to play when Bellamy and Clarke got to the dance floor. A deep, intoxicating beat played as Bellamy delicately placed his hand on her waist. He pulled her closer than he should have.

Bellamy effortlessly led Clarke through the dance. Bellamy remembered when Clarke was terrified that someone was going to ask her to dance at prom, and Bellamy had led her around the house in large twirling movements. Her laughter had filled the house, and then later, her cries when she came back from the dance, and no one had asked her to dance.

Bellamy focused on Clarke's deep even breaths as he rested his forehead on hers. Clarke closed her eyes in contentment. Clarke had a way of making the whole world feel small and manageable. If he could make Clarke happy, there was nothing that he couldn't do.

It wasn't until he looked up that he caught Echo's eyes. She had an inquisitive look on her face like she was trying to work out some problems.

When the song ended, Clarke cleared her throat and stepped away from Bellamy. Her expression closed off.

"You should get back to your wife, Bell." The disappointment he felt at leaving her should have given him pause, but it didn't.

Clarke drew back into herself, and the reception continued like Bellamy didn't want to have Clarke beside him instead.

It was easier to remind himself why he had asked Echo to marry him when they were on their honeymoon. Echo was happy, Bellamy was content. They'd make each other happy. He was sure of it.

It wasn't until they got home and Bellamy's first stop was to see Clarke that Echo made her voice heard. Bellamy was just about to walk out the door, bags still packed, when he stopped short at her voice.

"Do you love her?" Echo's voice wavered. Bellamy took a deep breath before turning back around. He looked at her sadly.

"You know that I do. It's Clarke," he said with a finality that Echo could hear.

"Are you in love with her?"

Bellamy stopped for a moment. He had never understood the difference. Love was love. Sure, there were different kinds, but you don't fall in and out of love. Bellamy didn't.

"You already know the answer to that too."

Echo's face crumpled, and she let out a whine. There was no leaving after this. Bellamy felt terrible, but there was also a part of him that cursed Echo for her timing.

When Bellamy saw Clarke again, it was at her wedding. Clarke's angelic smile graced the whole affair, and Bellamy drunk it in. It was hard to hate Finn when he made Clarke so happy. Anything that made Clarke happy was right in his book.

Echo had refused to come to Clarke's wedding, so Bellamy sat alone in much the same situation that Clarke had been in at his. He watched as she played the perfect hostess, laughed graciously at Finn's bad jokes, and shifted around uncomfortably in her itchy dress.

Somehow, Bellamy felt like an outsider looking in. He had never felt this disconnected from Clarke till this moment. When Clarke and Finn said their goodbye's and left for their honeymoon, Bellamy went home alone. He closed the door softly since Echo was asleep, tore off his tie, and then grabbed the nearest alcohol to him.

He never went up to bed.

It wasn't until a month had passed that Bellamy noticed something wrong. Every text message to Clarke was side-stepped; every call dismissed. Eventually, he decided that the best course of action was just to show up at her house.

It was a cold night, but Bellamy still loitered on the steps. He felt a deep chasm forming in his relationship with Clarke, and it felt like no matter where he stepped, the Earth would give way.

He knocked.

Clarke came to the door. She didn't seem surprised to see him.

"You've been avoiding me."

Clarke said nothing. Just motioned for him to come inside.

Clarke was in the process of moving into Finn's place, and boxes were covering most of her living room. On the wall, hung a picture of them at a carnival that they had gone to five years ago. Bellamy felt every year they had spent together settle on his back like armor. He had never been so tired.

"Do I at least get a reason?"

Clarke stared at him for a moment before looking away.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore, Bellamy."

Bellamy stared at her.

"Why?"

"I don't need a reason," she said with her chin tilted up in defiance.

"Maybe. But, I feel I'm owed one at least."

Clarke collected herself for a moment. Bellamy knew that Clarke hated getting into arguments with Bellamy because there was little that he wouldn't give to make her happy.

Clarke looked at him in a way she has never looked at him before. She took hesitant steps forward. Her hand gently and reverently took his. Bellamy could see the galaxies in Clarke's eyes when she was this close.

She stopped an inch from his mouth. Bellamy couldn't move. If she wanted this, she had to take it for herself.

Just when Bellamy thought she would pull away, Clarke's lips met his. Her lips were soft and timid. Bellamy never thought he'd feel something so tender.

She gasped in a gust of air as she pulled away.

"I wanted to do that just once."

Bellamy searched her eyes for her intentions. He felt dangerous and off-kilter. He didn't like it.

"Why do this now?" Bellamy asked. He was finally able to understand what this emotion is, it's anger.

"Because I'll never do it again. This is my last chance."

Despite the anger brewing in him, he pulled her closer and rested her forehead against his.

"If you want to leave me, you can. But… please don't," he beseeched.

There were tears in Clarke's eyes. Bellamy gently wiped them away.

"I don't know how to stop loving you, Bell."

Suddenly, this seemed like the most natural thing that he had ever done. If Bellamy was going to fall through the Earth, it would be with Clarke by his side.

Bellamy grasped Clarke's face gently and brought his lips to Clarke's once more. Clarke let out a tiny whimper of shock that was quickly followed by an unbridled enthusiasm. Bellamy immediately felt his blood pump quicker through his body. If he died doing this, he wouldn't regret it.

Their kisses grew deeper as they attempted to convey everything that words couldn't. _I'm sorry. You're the most important person to me. I love you. Goodbye._

Clarke began tugging at his clothing first. She took his shirt and then moved on to her own. Bellamy was given little time to appreciate seeing her for the first time before she led him to her bedroom.

She lay back on her bed before undoing her bra as well. Bellamy doesn't think he's ever seen anything as beautiful as her. Clarke sat up and ran her hands down his torso before moving on to his pants.

Bellamy stopped her once he was down to his boxers and had her lie back on the bed. Torturously treasuring every new inch of skin revealed, he stripped her. Every nerve ending in his body felt violently alight.

As he spread her legs and moved between them, he let out a groan. If this is to be the one and only time for them, then he was going to savor this.

He licked into her with enthusiasm. His goddess. Heaven on Earth. Born to worship at her altar and her at his. She tasted sweet and bitter, and he couldn't get enough. He knew her cunt would haunt his dreams forever.

Clarke ran her fingers through his hair and tried to catch her breath. As he sucked her clit, she pulled and pushed in tandem with her body.

As Clarke felt herself get closer, she looked down, and Bellamy's deep brown eyes were staring back at her.

Bellamy licked up every drop she gave him.

Instead of her desire being satiated, Clarke felt even more desperate for him. She roughly pulled him up and got rid of his boxers. She felt hectic and fidgety with her desire.

As he pushed into her, Bellamy stared at the place they were connected to. He felt a heady rush of possessiveness run through him at the sight. She was hot and tight and everything he'd ever imagined.

Gone was the slow gentleness from before. Bellamy gripped her hips as he thrust into her, and she met his every movement. They roughly grabbed at each other wherever they could find, lips and tongues and teeth mixed headily with the sweat and heat. No other world existed except for the one they were in right now.

"Clarke… Look at me," Bellamy groaned. When she did, her eyes were glazed over with lust, and he felt a familiar rush of pride go through him at pleasing her. He reached his hand down to where they were joined and thumbed at her clit. She came with his name on her lips. He followed.

The afterglow didn't last long. Clarke turned on her side away from him. Bellamy knew there was no turning back now.

It would burn both of their lives to the ground, but this is all Bellamy had ever wanted for himself. He would take it like he'd learned to take everything in life.

After all, who is Finn to have her when she's been his all along?


End file.
